Working Mom

Yesterday was my first day back to work after three wonderful months at home with Jackson. Honestly, leaving yesterday morning was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I was a wreck. Fortunately, my mom is here until October staying at home with him and taking great care of him. Despite how lucky I am to have her here, I had the hardest time saying goodbye yesterday. I was thinking too much about the "forever-ness" of going back to work.
My former manager and new manager have been amazing. (While I was on maternity leave my company reorganized and therefore I have a new boss.) When I got to work yesterday, there was a chocolate chip muffing sitting on my desk with a note from my former boss saying she knew how hard my first day back would be and that she was here if I needed anything. After a tear-filled message on her voicemail thanking her for the muffin, she rushed over to give me a hug ... a badly needed hug.
Next was a meeting with my new team and my new boss. I should have come in earlier and tried to get myselft together. By the time my 8:30 meeting rolled around, my face was all puffy and my eyes were red from crying. I never cry at work so it was hard for me to seem so vulnerable right off the bat on my first day. Then I saw Sarah - one of my new teammates who returned to work last Monday after having her little boy, Henry. The smile on her face gave me hope. She seemed to be coping with going back to work very well and I knew she had just as hard of a time returning to work as I did. My new manager has a 10-month-old son and we talked about traveling for work, the cost of daycare, and the amazing thing it is to be a mom or dad. I am seriously fortunate to work with such great people and it makes returning to work so much easier.
Did I mention that EVERY woman in my family has stayed home with her children? I'm serious. Every. Single. One. My grandmothers, aunts, sister-in-law, mother-in-law ... all stay at home moms. Ya - that makes it tons easier, I promise.
Now, I need to focus on the positive. My goal is to show Jackson that his mom is a hard working, successful career woman. Okay - that sounds corny, but what's the point of all this if he doesn't feel that way in the end? I want to show him that it's important to like your work and that I've done everything I can to give him the life that he deserves. I have quickly learned that I need to just take things one day at a time and run home as often as I can to hold my little guy so that he doesn't forget who Mommy is.