Jackson went to a new babysitter yesterday. It was the first time that he was being taken care of by someone who wasn't family. It. Was. Hell. I cried until about 2 p.m. It was like coming back to work all over again! Nothing against Kelly (Jack's babysitter) personally – just leaving him with someone other than family for the first time was so difficult and scary. I mean, with family, you know FOR SURE that he will be well taken care of. While I trust Jess’s judgement (my friend who introduced me to Kelly), and I called and spoke with a few of Kelly's references, you still just never know. I was sitting in my department meeting at work with tears streaming down my face (hoping that no one would see me) thinking about all the bad things she could have been doing to him. I know that’s not what I should be thinking, but I couldn’t help it. I stayed with him until about 10 a.m. and then went back to visit around 2.
The good news is that by the end of the day, I felt much better. Kelly was wonderful with him. She was kissing his hands and holding him and playing with him within five minutes of us bringing him in. When I started crying when I was leaving him in the morning, she cried too! She said she totally understood how I must feel as a mom and I thought it was so sweet that she cried.
She kept this adorable little journal of his day. It was like “Today was my first day at my friend Vienne’s house (Kelly’s daughter). We played together until 10 o’clock and then Kelly took us on a walk by the river. At 1 p.m. we ate lunch and then Kelly changed my diaper….” So cute. She also washed his clothes and bottles and packed them in my diaper bag. She really went above and beyond what I had expected. I have really high hopes. As I get to know Kelly better and trust her even more, I think I’ll be really confident that she is taking excellent care of him. But the first day – oh my gosh was that hard.