Sledding!

engagement

Heather and Mike are getting married! Tonight we're celebrating with an engagement party at Heidi and Justin's house. I CAN'T wait!!! These two are so in love and make each other so happy - I am so excited to celebrate their engagement today. When I got married (six years ago) Heather was my rock. She went with me everywhere, helped me with every detail, and was an amazing support. I can't wait to do the same for you, Woods! When are we going wedding dress shopping!?!? :)

Congrats Mike and Heather!

Josh

Today DJ's brother Josh would have celebrated his 17th birthday. It is so hard to believe that he passed away a year and a half ago and that he would be turning 17 today. I picture him driving around a truck that my in-laws would have bought him, chasing girls, lifting weights, riding dirt bikes ... doing all the things he loved to do.

I hope today our family can remember Josh in a positive light, celebrating his life, but it's hard not to dwell on the fact that he's no longer with us.

We miss and love you, Josh.

Yesterday when I got home from work, DJ was missing, but his truck was in the garage. I called him and he said he was over at the neighbors because I had received some flowers and the delivery man left them with our neighbors because no one was home. When DJ got home, I was excited to see this beautiful bouquet of roses and lillies. My parents had sent them "with love" to let us know that they were thinking about us on a tough day. Isn't that so thoughtful? Thank you, Mom and Dad, for ALWAYS being there for us. We love you!

American Idol

Are you watching American Idol this season? I've been in and out as an A.I. fan, but I'm pretty into this season. I love JLo and Steven Tyler is growing on me. I just don't like Randy Jackson, aka the man with no opinion.

I was exhausted last night but got wrapped up into the show and this guy is my FAVORITE! I think he's going to go all the way. He has an amazing voice.

Stay tuned!

January 26th

Today is a tough day. Today was the day that I was supposed to have my little girl or little boy (for some reason, DJ and I both feel like it was a girl). Back in August, I learned that I had a partial molar pregancy, which stopped our child's beating heart at 10 weeks old. I didn't know this until I thought I was 16 weeks along. This was particularly devastating for me because I thought "how could I NOT have known?". My aunt nailed it when she said that miscarrying is an "emotional roller coaster". It really is. On one hand, I'm so blessed to have Jackson - who's healthy, happy, growing and mine. On the other, I know what a tremendous loss we've experienced because we know how AMAZING it is to have a baby. I'm still dealing with it all, I've been feeling good, but today is a hard day. Would we have been in the hospital today introducing Jackson to his little baby brother or sister? WOuld I have gone past my due date and be the size of a house right now? It's dangerous to say "what if", but in this situation I seem to do it all day long. On Sunday we'll go to a service at the site where our baby was buried. I hope that this will bring a sense of closure to us so that we can remember, but move ahead and make plans to grow our family.
On a more positive note, my amazing doctor, Dr. Wolfe, has given us the go ahead to try again. We're not sure yet when exactly we'll start trying, but I think it will be fairly soon. I pray. I pray OFTEN, that we will be able to have a successful pregnancy and to bring a healthy child into this world.

I've been pretty bad about about carrying my camera around with me lately, but at least I've been able to capture a few (poor) pics of Jack on my phone. Thank GOODNESS the iPhone is coming to Verizon! I'm already working on getting one. Here are a few recent pics of Jack:

Jackson likes to try on our shoes. Problem is, he likes to try to walk in them too!

Jack had to wear a gown at his last doctor's appointment. There was something sad, but so cute about him wearing this bugs bunny hospital gown.

This is Jack's favorite place to play while I'm making dinner. He takes ALL of my towels out of the drawer and then sits in it like it's a car.

Josh and Jack playing on the beach. :) What a good uncle!

We took Jackson to see Sesame Street Live at the Morris Civic Theater. Doesn't he look enthused!?

Jackson sat on the floor for twenty minutes and "read" to me. :)